


The Comforting Arms of Home

by highlightcity_159



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Attempted Sexual Assault, Book of Nile, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Minor Character Death, Nile Freeman Needs a Hug, Nile Freeman-centric, Nile Week 2020, and she gets one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:40:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26376652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/highlightcity_159/pseuds/highlightcity_159
Summary: “You had time to voice your concerns earlier while we were planning not in the middle of the op while we have innocent lives at stake. Now, am I still leading this mission or have you decided you don’t trust me anymore?” Nicky and Booker both make a noises off to the side but Nile ignores them. She waits for a nod from Andy before exiting the car.Or: Nile leads her first mission and reminds the team that she’s a warrior in her own right.
Relationships: Booker | Sebastien le Livre/Nile Freeman
Comments: 21
Kudos: 197





	The Comforting Arms of Home

**Author's Note:**

> Everyone experiences anxiety attacks differently for different reasons. Nile's anxiety attack is modeled after my own experiences with anxiety attacks that are triggered from emotional fallout.

Over the years, Nile has guided the team towards more long-lasting and higher level targets; corrupt capitalist organizations that cared more for their bottom line than their workers or their impact on the environment. It’s a two-pronged approach first eliminating these companies and using the money they’ve amassed to support any workers who will be out of a job and second investing in more ethical start-ups that can fill the void these companies leave behind. It’s been effective. In the last decade alone they’ve helped eliminate the need for oil companies, brought down two major consumer tech companies, and revolutionized the fashion industry all while continuing their long-standing mission to help where help is needed. 

This is the first mission she’s running fully by herself. No input from Andy. The plan is simple. Companhia de Concessões Rodoviárias (CCR) is a transportation company headquartered in Brasilia with facilities throughout Latin America. The company is notorious for ignoring environmental protection laws, bribing governmental officials to look the other way at violations, or else operating in countries with lax regulations. This on top of the blatant human rights violations of their working conditions. The Brazilian president is holding a gala in the capital in a last ditch effort to save her failing reelection campaign. Copley III had helped Nile funnel money to the opposition candidate who was running on reform and ethical leadership platform aimed at improving the lives of citizens. Nile is supposed to seduce CCR's Senior Vice President of Research & Development, who is attending the gala, into taking her back to his hotel room where she will then knock him out and take his access card and fingerprints so they can get into CCR's headquarters. 

Booker is her back-up at the gala and later joins Andy at the hotel while Nile drunkenly paws at her mark before entering his hotel room flanked by two security guards. Nicky is watching from a nearby vantage point, rifle scope pointed into the window of the hotel room just in case. Joe and Quynh are at CCR's headquarters working with Copley III on the second part of the mission, infiltration, and waiting for the others to arrive. 

They had agreed on a safe word ahead of time. If Nile felt uncomfortable or in anyway unsafe alone with the mark, who despite his age was a good bit larger than her in both height and weight, she was to use the safe word. The others were listening on a closed loop discrete ear piece and would be ready to act when that happened. Nile never safe worded. 

She has the situation under control as the mark gets a aggressively handsy. She keeps quiet, knowing the others are listening and confident in her ability to extract herself from this situation without having to kill anyone. She considers any loss of life a mission failure. She refuses to grow numb to the carnage the six of them can reign down. Andy still leads the missions where they topple drug cartels, human trafficking rings, and ruthless mercenaries. Those missions leave a trail of blood that takes Nile ages to wash from her skin and sometimes, no matter how heinous the criminals, Nile feels like there is nothing she can do to get her soul clean. Besides Nile knows these criminal organizations are the symptoms and not the cause. She keeps Dr. King’s words from his 1967 “Beyond Vietnam” speech close to her heart:

_“A true revolution of values will soon cause us to question the fairness and justice of many of our past and present policies. On the one hand, we are called to play the Good Samaritan on life’s roadside, but that will be only an initial act. One day we must come to see that the whole Jericho road must be transformed so that men and women will not be constantly beaten and robbed as they make their journey on life’s highway. True compassion is more than flinging a coin to a beggar. It comes to see that an edifice which produces beggars needs restructuring."_

Her skin crawls as the mark slides one had down the exposed skin on her back. His other hand moves to the neckline of her dress attempting to pull it down. She shifts trying to get up and get them something to drink. He holds on tightly grabbing at her wrist as she tries to move away. They play this game for a few moments. Him trying to get at more of her skin while she gently rejects his advances. She can tell he is getting frustrated. She is too. His hands are sweaty and breath rank but she’s loathe to jeopardize the mission. Besides her own moral code, keeping the mark alive makes things much easier for them given they have an informant on the inside, a whistleblower whose life would be in danger if CCR ever found out about his betrayal. 

“I was going to grab us a nightcap before we got any further,” she murmurs breathily into his ear. “Don’t you want something to drink?”

“What I what is for you to give me what you promised me, whore!” And with that he grabs at the front of her dress ripping it to reveal her breasts. Instinctively, Nile whimpers pulling up her hands to cover her exposed chest. 

Things happen quickly after that. Before Nile can say anything Andy and Booker are bursting through the door, the bodies of the two security guards on the ground behind them, and simultaneously Nicky sends a shot through the open window behind her straight through the head of the mark. 

“Damnit,” Nile curses. “I didn’t safe word.” 

“Safe word?!” Andy exclaims. “Nile the guy assaulted you. You clearly needed help and we stepped in.”

“Clearly?!” The scoff Nile gives causes both Andy and Booker to raise the eyes. “You know what, never mind. We don’t have time for this nonsense.” 

The others, she is sure, weren’t expecting this reaction. But Nile had been a Marine Corporal before her immortality. She lead an all female unit. She was an older sister. In so many aspects of her life before immortality she had been the leader. The one people went to for guidance. Now, she’s surrounded by people who pre-date things she used to refer to as ancient. Her new family is amazing but they forget sometimes that she came into this life as an adult and warrior in her own right. Just because she is young does not make her any less capable of leading or any less deserving of their respect in the field. She rankles against the kid gloves they sometimes treat her with. She usually lets it go, they didn’t mean any harm and eventually they would learn to respect her. After all, she did launch a full scale rescue operation against a billion dollar megalomaniac and his mercenary army in the heart of London with only a hand gun and an AR-15 within days of meeting them. But maybe she was wrong. Maybe she was just the kid to them. Maybe that’s who she would always be. It is that thought that stays with her the rest of the mission. 

Nile pivots quickly not bothering to cover herself anymore, it’s nothing the others hadn’t seen before. Working quickly and ignoring any attempts at conversation about anything other than next steps, Nile asks Nicky to grab the getaway vehicle while she, Andy, and Booker clean up the crime scene. 

“Grab the guards and make the scene look like a robbery. Take jewelry, electronics, anything of value. Open the hotel safe and his suitcase and make it look like someone went looking through them,” she mutters to the others as she works to collect the marks fingerprints and his access card from his wallet. She slips the cash and the credit cards into the waist of her underwear having shed the dress completely. 

When they’re finished Booker hands her his white button down to wear, which she puts on without a word. She leads the others out of the building through the service hallways and to the garage where Nicky is waiting. 

She refuses to discuss anything with the others as they speed out of downtown Brasilia towards CCR headquarters. Instead she loops Copley III in on the change of plans and works quickly to initiate Plan E so they can get their informant out of the country safely. All this while changing into her tactical gear. 

“Andy, Booker,” Nile acknowledges, _finally_ , as they pull behind Joe and Quynh’s vehicle on a service road near CCR headquarters. “We’re switching to Plan E. You need to go pick up Esteban and his family from the safe house. Copley will guide you to the airfield where they’ll be picked up and taken into protection. There’s an advocacy group that will make sure they get set up in Canada. After that meet the rest of us at the airport. Copley will send you the exact location.”

“You can’t just trust Copley to run ops for you. Also, you have—” Nile cuts Andy off before she can get any further. 

“You had time to voice your concerns earlier while we were planning not in the middle of the op while we have innocent lives at stake. Now, am I still leading this mission or have you decided you don’t trust me anymore?” Nicky and Booker both make a noises off to the side but Nile ignores them. She waits for a nod from Andy before exiting the car. 

Nicky looks like he wants to say something as Booker and Andy drive away but Nile can’t deal with him right now. They meet up with Joe and Quynh at CCR's perimeter.

“Where are Andy and Booker?” Quynh asks. 

“The mark is dead. We’re moving to Plan E. Andy and Booker are going to make sure Esteban and his family get out safely and then they’ll meet us at the airport. Joe, you and Nicky, head to the CEOs office to pull the information we need.” She hands over the fingerprints and access card. “Quynh and I will handle the servers. Please don’t kill anyone else.” That last bit is for Nicky. She ignores the look Joe and Quynh share as she leads them into the building. 

The rest of the mission is a success. They are in and out of CCR in less than 30 minutes. They meet up with Andy and Booker in an warehouse parking lot by the airport where they dump their clothes and weapons, all plastic to avoid law enforcement being able to trace them. Andy and Joe are first through security, a Portuguese husband and wife heading back to Lisbon after a lovely holiday. Nicky and Booker are second, two bankers traveling back to Bern by way of Lisbon. Quynh and Nile are last, a ecology professor and her tired assistant returning to Europe after a month in the Amazon. 

Nile does not sleep much on the plane. She’s never been able to get more than two hours of sleep on a flight. Besides Quynh hates flying and usually takes a high dosage of Ativan to keep her calm, leaving Nile to keep watch. Alone with her thoughts for over nine hours, Nile toggles between angry, hurt, and panicked. It’s the panic she gets after deeply hurtful experiences with her closest family and friends. The emotions, betrayal and hurt from someone who knows your wounds so deeply always triggers her anxiety. An overwhelming panic begins to descend as her brain struggles to deal with the loss of footing in a relationship she thought was secure. 

Sitting in the middle seat on a nine hour red-eye flight is not the ideal place to have the anxiety attack she feels coming so she pulls out her phone and listens to music. There’s a playlist she’s curated specifically for her anxiety and it helps for a few hours. What also helps is watching the soccer game playing on the little TV on the seat back in front of her. It’s a Champions League rerun of Paris-Saint Germain versus AS Roma, she listened to the game live with Booker and Joe during a stakeout earlier this week. It was a good memory. 

When the game is over and she realizes she still has a few hours left on the flight she pulls up the entire Kung Fu Panda trilogy. It is one of her favorite movie series, mostly because it reminds her of her younger brother. They had watched the first movie together over winter break when she was 13 and by the time she returned to school she knew the entire movie by heart. Even now, she can recite every movie almost from memory and lets the comforting sounds and animation wash over her; staving off the anxiety that is hovering like a cloud over her head, at least for a few more hours. 

The drive from the Lisbon airport to their house in the historic center of Évora is three hours. Nile drives, keeping her headphones in because she’s not really in the mood to talk. From the looks she’s getting from Quynh in the passenger seat she’s sure they’re talking about her but she’s too tired and angry to deal with them right now. Let her break down and put herself back together before she has to deal with whatever well meaning excuses Andy, Booker, and Nicky have for her. 

Upon entering the house Nile is ready. The pressure in her head is building and her eyes are already starting to burn as she holds back the tidal wave that’s coming. She’s been patching the impending anxiety attack but the bandaid of adrenaline is losing it’s stickiness as her body and brain recognize they are in a safe space to unleash the pent up emotion. She walks into the house heading straight for the bedrooms at the back when when something stops her. She has to say something. 

She doesn’t turn around as she says “I know that I’m not Andy but I thought that you trusted me. I thought that you trusted me to lead this team and trusted me to know how to handle myself but I guess I was wrong. Clearly, you don’t think I’m capable of doing this job.”

And before they can say anything she heads straight to the bathroom so she can wash that man’s filthy hands off her body. 

* * *

Nile wakes in a panic. Her heart is racing and she still feels his hands all over her body. The house is quiet and it’s dark outside. Her phone is dead beside her so she has no idea what time it is. Late, she guesses, since even outside is quiet. The anxiety is building again she can feel it behind her eyes, like a swarm of bees ready to burst out of an agitated hive. Staying in bed won’t help. Not now, after she’s already attempted the trifecta of crying, eating, and sleeping. She knows what will. Or rather _who_ will. 

She sits up with a sigh rubbing her hands over her face. Her face is puffy from crying earlier and her eyes feel so dry. She’s still so mad at him, at all of them, for making her feel unworthy of her place in this family but she will no longer deny herself this. She needs comfort and despite her ire she knows he will provide it. 

She’s quiet as she heads down the hall towards the main living space. She doesn’t want to wake the others who are probably deep asleep. Jet lag hits them the hardest, having spent most of their lives crossing oceans, countries, and time zones in months and years rather than hours. 

Booker is asleep on the couch, right arm splayed across his face. He looks exhausted and she tries not to feel guilty. In the last decade they’ve rarely slept without each other. It’s amazing how quickly your body gets used to certain things. She spent over 70 years of her life sleeping easily alone and now if she’s not within reach of this cantankerous and often disgruntled Frenchman her body just forgets. Forgets that it had ever been able to achieve a full nights rest without Booker’s arms around her. 

“Booker.” Even though she whispers it he jerks awake, immediately reaching for the gun she’s sure is hidden beneath the cushion. 

“Nile?” He squints at her. It is dark but the low fire in the hearth must give him enough light to see the look on her face because he doesn’t say anything more. Instead, he opens his arms and Nile collapses into him. Marionette strings cut and her body finds rest for the first time in 24 hours, there in his strong arms.

After a while she realizes he’s speaking. Murmuring soft words into the sweatshirt hood she’s pulled over her head. 

“Je suis désolé, mon amour. J’espère que tu peux me pardonner. Je suis désolé que tu as douté ma foi en toi. Tu as incroyable. Je suis désolé.” He repeats. His arms are wrapped tightly around her as his hands rub comfortingly up and down her back. 

She hums into the broad expanse of his chest to let him know she’s listening.

“I trust you and I am sorry that you felt like I do not. I never, never want you to feel that way. I would follow you to the ends of the earth for eternity. I trust you to lead our family. I trust you with my heart, that you would keep it safe. I trust you with my passions. I trust you with my grief. I trust you with my memories. I trust you, mon ange. It is not about trust. You are—” he pauses here, struggling with his words. “Tu es ma joie de vivre. You are my sun. Your kindness and goodness illuminate my darkness and even in your grief and pain I find warmth in our connection. I will do everything in my power to protect you from anything that would dare take your kindness away. It is such a rare thing and I do not want this life we live to taint it.”

 _This man_. Joe may be quicker to espouse his love but Booker is no less poignant. The two of them together happy and drunk can go back and forth for hours spouting words of love from both themselves and writers far more notable. Eulogizing their lovers with words of poetry, prose, and art. When they’re drunk enough, Quynh gives them an abstract idea and Andy judges to see who comes up with the best, most saccharine, analogy to describe their lovers. Nile won over two thousand euros off Nicky four months ago when Booker spent 23 minutes talking about Nile’s ears. He would have gone on longer but Andy ended the game early when Booker started to go into graphic detail about the noises Nile made when he traced her cartilage with his tongue. 

“I’m not naive, nor am I innocent. It's because I know how cruel this world can be that I am kind. My compassion was something I learned through hard times. You know this.” She looks up at him. “When the three of you charged in without even waiting for me to confirm whether I needed the help you took away my agency. You made me feel like a child. You know how much I hate that. What I needed was for you to trust my own evaluation of the situation. To trust that I would ask for help if I needed it.” 

She sits up in his lap so that they’re eye level; brown on green. 

“I don’t...I can’t lead this team, _our family_ , if I don’t have your full support behind me. I need you to trust me even when every protective instinct in your body is telling you to run to me. Because sometimes it’s the difference between living and dying for the people we are trying to protect. We may not be fragile but most people are and I would rather suffer than allow others to.” She pauses here to press a soft kiss between his brows. “Besides, I know that if I fall apart I can piece myself back together in your arms.” 

Booker eyes glisten and flit around trying to memorize the way the shadows play across her face. He brings his hands up to her head, pushing her hood back so he can see her more fully in the low light. She leans down instinctively to press her forehead to his. Eyes open as they breath the same air. 

“You need to know that your suffering will never be an acceptable sacrifice to me.” She goes to pull away, ready to shake him until he understands but he keeps his hands firmly on her. His thumbs rub gently along her cheekbones in an attempt to ease her ire. “But you are right. I _know_ you are a capable warrior and leader. And I need to trust you in the field as explicitly as I do Andy. Je vous demande pardon.” 

Nile smiles and whispers, “Je te pardonne,” before closing the space between them. The kiss is quiet. Not a loud proclamation but a soft promise.

“But, mon amour,” Booker murmurs as he pulls away. “You must promise me something.” 

She nods in his hands.

“Do not deny yourself whatever solace you need from me, no matter how angry you are.” At her questioning look he explains, “Your eyes are puffy, I know you cried yourself to sleep. And a nightmare must have woken you if you are up after only a few hours of rest. Be as mad at me as you need to be, I am sure I will earn your anger again in the future for my own stupidity, but don’t deny yourself comfort. I will be silent with a bag over my head just so you can get what you need from me. Promise?” 

“I promise.” Booker leans in again, another soft kiss. This one longer than the last. The tension eases out of both of them now that they are reconciled. Nile tries to deepen the kiss, licking along his lips but Booker pulls away.

“Non,” he declares with a kiss to her nose. She scrunches her nose.

“You know how much I love it when you get romantic on me.” She’s trying not to whine but he can hear it all the same.

“You are tired. I am tired. We are going to sleep.”

The pout is full force now. And Booker can’t resist pressing another soft kiss to Nile’s nose.

“You don’t want me?” It’s said in a coy voice. Her lashes lowered as her fingers play at the collar of his t-shirt. She looks fetching in his clothes. She looks fetching in absolutely everything and also in nothing. She’s biting at her lip and he closes his eyes against temptation. He knows what she’s doing and on any other night he would give in, unable to deny his love anything. She has him so wrapped around her fingers that he would happily deny himself breath if she desired. But they are both tired and emotional and honestly he has not held her in 24 hours and his soul demands nothing less than eight hours of uninterrupted sleep with her securely in his arms. 

“Non,” he repeats. “You can have your way with me tomorrow but tonight I just want to know that you are safe in my arms.” Her face softens and her brown eyes glow like dying embers in the hearth. 

“You can’t just say stuff like that and not expect me to want to jump your bones.” But she settles back down along his body, all the same, curling herself up into his chest and tangling her legs with his along the couch. 

Over the years, Nile has replaced every couch in their nicer safe homes and home homes with larger, comfier pieces more conducive to his large six foot-two frame. She had dragged him, as the tallest in their family despite his propensity to hunch down, through second hand shops and estate sales, measured him as a reference for online purchases to ensure that every couch they owned in their homes was the perfect size. He’s grateful for her doggedness now as he stretches out comfortably along the couch and pulls the woolen quilt over the two of them.

“I say romantic things to you all the time.” He responds looking down at her nestled snuggly against him.

“And now you know why we have such a healthy sex life.” She yawns, shifting slightly to tuck her covered toes between his calves. Booker smiles at her.

“Bonne nuit, ma chérie.”

“Good night, Sébastien.” 

* * *

Nile’s pillow is moving and she’s not happy. She grumbles into Booker’s chest hoping he’ll stop whatever it is he’s doing. 

“She lives!” That’s definitely Joe’s voice. If he’s this chipper he must have already had his first pre-breakfast cup of coffee, which means it’s late morning. She doesn’t want to get up but clearly the others already are, judging by the noise, sunlight, and breakfast smells.

Nile opens her eyes. She’s still curled into Booker’s chest so all sees is his black t-shirt pulled tightly across his muscular chest. She’s slowly changed out all his sleep shirts to size medium just so she can ogle him to her hearts content. She pats his chest forlornly knowing she won’t be able to ravage him the way she had planned to last night, at least not for a little while. Turning over she comes face to face with Andy who is sitting on the coffee table watching her. 

Oh boy. They were gonna do this now, then.

“Good Morning Nile.” 

“G’morning Andy.” She keeps herself tucked into Booker’s arm refusing to leave the warm cocoon they’ve created. They stare at each other for a moment when she hears a pointed cough. Definitely Quynh. Andy sighs leaning down, elbows perched in her knees so she can look Nile in the eye.

“I’m sorry, kid.” Nile blinks. She wasn’t expecting it to be that easy. Andy is stubborn and after being alive for a few thousand years she tended to be a little slow to apologize. Nile has a feeling that given the length of her life, after a few millennia of experience Andy has had little reason to, so used to being right. 

“Just because we approach missions differently doesn’t make my way any more right than yours. I checked with Copley III this morning and the police have ruled the deaths a robbery gone wrong. He said something about there being similar robberies in the area but I’m guessing you already knew that.” Andy smirks self-deprecatingly. She reaches out to cup Nile’s cheek. “You were brilliant last night. You are a great leader and I am so proud of you. You’re going to do more and better in your lifetime than I could ever hope to do mine. I can’t wait to see it. We do trust you, I trust you and I’m sorry I made you doubt that.” 

“Thanks Andy. Love you.” Nile sniffs rubbing at her nose and blinking back the tears Andy’s heartfelt apology had prompted. Andy pats at her cheek gently. 

“I love you, too.” 

“You guys are making me cry!” They both look up at Joe who is hovering at the end of the couch watching them. He’s wiping at his eyes and smiling that weepy smile he gets when one of them has done something that makes him proud. “This is even better than those Hallmark movies Booker makes me watch with with him.” 

Booker screeches from underneath Nile, sitting up quickly and almost dumping her to the floor. 

“Désolé, ma chérie,” he mutters distractedly pulling Nile more securely onto the couch and climbing over her to get at Joe. “I thought I told you not to say anything about that.” 

Joe cackles. 

“At least, I didn’t mention the trashy romance novels you like to read when no one’s around.” Booker lunges at Joe, who jumps out the way. There is a spark in Joe’s eyes that never bodes well. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of, habibi. You told me that the books make you—”

Booker has managed to grab Joe, hand covering his mouth. He’s whispering fiercely in Joe’s ears while the tips of his ears turn bright red. Joe bites at Bookers hand and uses the distraction to get his arms around the taller man. They hit the floor with a thump and start wrestling around on the ground. 

Andy rolls her eyes. 

“I’ve known about those books for centuries. Booker likes to pretend he’s a book snob but he also owns Danielle Steel’s entire body of work.” Andy whispers conspiratorial to Nile. 

“He likes to read them in bath. He keeps a basket by the tub at our place in Nice.” Andy laughs at this before getting up off the table. She joins Quynh, who is yelling at Joe and Booker not to break anything because she likes this safe house, at the table behind the couch. 

Nile stands up properly wondering if she can convince Nicky to make her chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast. He makes them almost as good as her dad used to. 

“Nile.” She turns to find Nicky hovering beside the couch. He’s watching her anxiously. “I am sorry, too.”

He holds his arms out to her and she doesn’t hesitate to fall into them. She will never say this aloud for fear of starting a fight but Nicky gives the best hugs of the group. He tries to pour all of himself into his hugs as though he could fill your voids with his love. It’s a relief to be hugged the way that she hugs others. 

“I am sorry that you believed I do not trust you. But I am not sorry I killed him,” he says quietly in Italian. “I have not forgotten what you said about your biggest fear. As long as I am alive I will do everything in my power to make sure that fear is never realized and provide swift retribution on any who attempt it.” 

The steel in his eyes softens when Nile looks up at him. She knows that on this he will not budge. His mercilessness had surprised her the first time she’d seen it manifested but it made sense. They were the same in that way. Two people whose kindness and compassion tempered a ruthlessness that knew no bounds. 

“You are a more than capable leader and I would be honored to follow you into any battle.” 

“Thanks Nicky.” 

“Do you forgive me?” She squeezes him tight and lets her face relax. 

“Only if you make me pancakes for breakfast?” Nicky laughs.

“Of course, cara mia. Come, I will let you add the chocolate chips.”

**Author's Note:**

>  **Notes**  
>    
> Beyond Vietnam is my favorite speech by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Here’s a link - https://www.democracynow.org/2013/1/21/dr_martin_luther_king_in_1967#:~:text=A%20true%20revolution%20of%20values,our%20past%20and%20present%20policies.&text=A%20true%20revolution%20of%20values%20will%20soon%20look%20uneasily%20on,and%20wealth%20with%20righteous%20indignation.
> 
> Companhia de Concessões Rodoviárias (CCR) is a real Brazil based transportation company. My creative juices stopped flowing and I couldn’t be bothered to try to think up a fake company. 
> 
> I have no idea if the gun Nile uses in her rescue mission is an AR-15 but it looks like one. I’m also not a big a gun fan so I did not feel like doing to much research. 
> 
> Évora is one of the oldest cities in Portugal. https://www.usatoday.com/story/travel/destinations/2019/04/08/rick-steves-evora-portugal/3398200002/
> 
> “Je suis désolé, mon amour. J’espère que tu peux me pardonner. Je suis désolé que tu as douté ma foi en toi. Tu as incroyable. Je suis désolé.” - “I am sorry, my love. I hope that you can forgive me. I am sorry that you doubted my faith in you. You are incredible. I am sorry.” in French 
> 
> "Tu es ma joie de vivre” - literally “You are my joy of life/living” in French. I think Booker would take his meaning of the phrase less from the modern interpretation and more based on the novel by Émile Zola, La Joie de Vivre wherein la joie de vivre is the hope of living even amidst sorrow and grief. Booker met Nile at the lowest point of his life and through her actions (specifically rescuing the team from the fate he’d damned them to) Booker is able to set upon the path to redemption. I think during the early days of his exile Nile would reach out to him for comfort when she was missing her family. Booker would want to help her ease into immortality in a way that he was never able to. This would be one motivating factor for him to at least try to get healthy. In my own depression it can be hard to be motivated to do something for myself but if a friend needs me I can rally enough energy to be there for them. 
> 
> "Je vous demande pardon” - literally “I ask your forgiveness” in French
> 
> "Je te pardonne” - “I forgive you” in French 
> 
> “...mon amour” - “…my love” in French 
> 
> "Bonne nuit, ma chérie” - “Goodnight, my dear” in French 
> 
> "Désolé, ma chérie” - “Sorry, my dear” in French
> 
> “...cara mia” - “…my dear” in Italian
> 
> One final note, obviously there will be some additional emotional fallout for Nile from the assault but the main focus of conflict in this fic was that Nile felt like the team (really just Andy, Booker, and Nicky) didn't trust her or believe that she was capable of leading this mission.


End file.
